


What's in a Name

by rayisokay



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Multi, Pidge | Katie Holt-centric, Short, Slow Build, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:16:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9435785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayisokay/pseuds/rayisokay
Summary: For someone who absolutely hated the mere concept, Katie thought about soulmates a lot. She thought about her soulmate, and how he must be disappointed when he finds out the truth.





	1. Trouble's in a Name

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So I'm here with a pidgance soulmate au.  
> Like mentioned in the tags, I write Pidge as she/her. ALSO, in case it bothers any of you, I'm writing her as "Katie" most of the time. Just be prepared, I guess?  
> Anywho, enjoy!

Katie really hated things that were out of her control.

She hated how both her dad and brother had to be so enamored with space that it took both of them away from her. She hated that she had to have been caught by the Garrison and forbidden to return. She hated that her only option was to disguise herself, and hide the only connection she had to her family. But most of all, she hated the name that had been printed on the inside of her right bicep since birth, like a tattoo.

_Lance McClain_

Apparently people weren't even supposed to control who they fell in love with. And Katie hated it.

Everyone she knew loved the idea of soulmates. Her parents had each other's names on the backs of their necks, and Matt had a name on the inside of his forearm. She never bothered to remember the name of her brother’s soulmate. Still, he never would shut up about the day he would meet her, and she would be smart, and beautiful, and they would fall in love, and life would be perfect.

She imagined that somewhere, a boy would have the name Katie Holt on his own bicep. Maybe he would be as infatuated with the idea of her as Matt was with the idea of his soulmate.

The thought made Katie want to barf.

So, she did her best to ignore Lance. He simply didn't exist. Besides, who had time for soulmates when one was busy preparing for their first days at the Garrison, under a fake name at that?

 _If you meet Lance at the Garrison, he won't even know you're his soulmate,_ Katie thought as she looked at her new reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her reflection shook her head to erase the troublesome thought.

She had a mission, and soulmates were definitely not a part of it.

 

* * *

 

 

Katie had been home schooled her whole life. Of course, she did have friends. She met people online, and through her local software engineering club, and at her dad and brother’s launch. But those people weren't as nosy as it seemed her new peers would be.

“So what's with the name Pidge?” asked the girl across from her. The tour for new cadets had ended just in time for lunch, which would supposedly encourage bonding between future classmates. This girl in particular had been exceptionally talkative during the tour, inquiring about every nook and cranny that the Garrison had to show. If Katie remembered correctly, she was a mechanic.

“That's not really-”

The girl waved her hands with widened eyes. “Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean any offense to your parents! Or to whoever you might have been named after! I was just curious. I've never met anyone named Pidge, you see.”

“I wasn't offended,” she clarified. “I just don't think my name is that important.”

“Well alright then, Mr. Secretive,” the girl teased. “I still want to know.”

“My parents thought it would help my soulmate. There's not exactly much chance my soulmate will meet me and think, ‘Huh, this could be my soulmate, but what about that other Pidge Gunderson I met last week?’ Whereas with a name like Emma Smith…” Katie raised an eyebrow at the girl across from her, holding the taunt in front of her face. Really, her name didn’t matter all that much, but Katie was sick of how intrusive this girl was. Emma pouted at the remark. She deserved it.

But Katie’s lie wasn't far from the truth. Her pseudonym was crafted for her soulmate. If she chose a generic boys’ name, she could meet someone who thought she was their soulmate. And the only way she'd be able to get out of that one would be to reveal her identity and get kicked out, or to show the name on her arm and become vulnerable: a fate worse than death.

 

* * *

 

Katie could do this. She could learn at the Garrison like she always dreamed to, find information on the accident of her nightmares, and act like a Normal Student. She might even be blessed with a team of two other people who were smart, friendly, and most importantly, non-intrusive. She made her way up to the board that would list her team and found she didn't need to read it.

“Who the heck is Pidge Gunderson?”

“That's me,” Katie said.

She approached two boys in cadet uniforms that matched her own. They were both rather tall, at least in comparison to her petite frame. The one who she heard speaking earlier seemed to be 90% leg, despite being about the same height as his friend. The other guy had an orange headband that matched the uniform, and she wondered if that was an intentional style choice or not.

The lanky one spoke up again to introduce himself. He smiled at her eagerly. This time, his voice was open and friendly, unlike the uncertain tone he held before. “I'm Lance.”

She vaguely caught the name Hunk too before completely spacing out. _Lance._ Sure, a lot of Lances existed. It wasn't the most common name, sure, but it wasn't unheard of. It wasn't a name like Pidge; surely, she'd come across another Lance, sometime after she found her family. That other boy would be Lance McClain, and she wouldn't have to deal with a soulmate until everything was settled.

Katie excused herself. She wasn't about to spend more time than necessary with two boys who she'd forget in a few years time.

 

* * *

 

Things were never that simple though. It was only the next day during roll call when she learned that this Lance was, in fact, Lance McClain. The very same Lance McClain that had been imprinted in her skin since birth.

This was only confirmed during lunch, when the topic of soulmates came up _again._

“My soulmate is gonna be a genius. I can feel it,” Lance sighed. His voice was full of confidence and unnecessary awe. Katie didn't miss the way his left hand shadowed his right bicep, just above where his name was on her own arm.

“How would you even know that,” she challenged.

“Well, her name’s Katie Holt,” he said with a tone that said he had just explained everything. “You know, the _Holts_? Two of the three who got lost on Kerberos?”

“I know who the Holts are,” Katie grumbled lowly. If he said more, she wasn't sure she could keep her cool.

“Well, if Katie’s related to them, she must be brilliant, right? I mean, they were the first people to travel that far in space. Just _imagine_ growing up with such great minds around _all the time_.” Lance’s voice was full of admiration, and she wondered if he was more infatuated with the idea of his idols, rather than a soulmate. That almost made her feel better.

“But Holt isn't an uncommon last name, is it?” Hunk wondered to them. “And there's at least three Katies in this cafeteria right now.”

Katie almost forgot he was there. She had been too busy being at a loss about Lance’s choice of subject.

“I hope you're right, Hunk,” Lance admitted, giving them a surprising change of atmosphere. “If she was related to those Holts, I wouldn't be able to imagine what she's really going through.”

The three went silent.

“But hey!” His voice took on a false cheer. “At least my soulmate’s name is written in English!”

“I'm not even sure this language is human, to be honest.” Hunk held out his hand to show a short sequence of unfamiliar markings on his palm. Katie wasn't sure if he was actually making a joke about aliens, or if he was genuinely curious, but she couldn't find it in herself to care.

“Yeah, your soulmate still confuses me, man. What about yours, Pidge? Care to indulge us?”

“Who says I have a soulmate?”

“Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to touch a sore subject.”

Kate hated his frown, furrowed eyebrows, and concerned voice. She wanted nothing more than to bolt from the bench and scream. Or cry. Or disappear into her room with some code for several days. Yeah, that would be great. No people, no soulmates, no cares.

She wanted nothing to do with this.

 

* * *

 

Katie was able to forget that Lance was her soulmate for a while. She did quite well at doing so, in fact. After all, she was too busy to think about soulmates. She fooled everyone into thinking she was a boy named Pidge Gunderson, made a radio that could pick up alien chatter, and passed all of her classes that didn't involve the flight simulator.

Of course, becoming a part of Voltron left little room for things like soulmates, and gave her even more resources for finding her family. For that, she was grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! This should be just a two shot, but depending on the length of the next chapter, I might split it into three.  
> I also know that a VERY SIMILAR au exists for this ship already. The connection was completely unintentional. Hopefully, the distinction shows a bit better in the next chapter.


	2. Hope's in a Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are discovered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know this was supposed to be a two shot, but this chapter got way ahead of me and I decided to cut it in half so that it wouldn't be twice the length of the first chapter. Plus, the end of this chapter seemed like a good place to leave things off for the time being.

Katie knew that her soulmate was none other than Lance McClain. Lance, the pilot. Lance, the blue paladin. Lance, her friend.

It was only recently though, that the weight of the matter settled in for her.

One night, after a long day of training gone wrong, Lance had invited everyone to his room. He had said that even if they couldn't get things right in their armor, they could at least bond in their pajamas.

Katie was reminded of their days at the Garrison. He always was the one to bring the team together, or at least try to. She found that she admired that about him, though that thought came after the fact. First and foremost, she would get rather annoyed; she really preferred alone time.

“Pidge! You made it!” Lance greeted her enthusiastically at the door.

Behind him, the rest of the crew sat in a half circle on the floor. Just like her, they all wore pajamas that matched the colors of their lions. She imagined that they must have magically fit the paladins like the armor had, because hers didn't drag under her feet, and Lance’s didn't rise awkwardly above his ankles.

“Okay, now that you're here, we can finally get this party started!” He led her to the gap in the circle, where he sat next to her.

“Is that a deck of cards?”

“That it is, my friend! Coran found them in one of the castle's old bedrooms, and started going on and on about how much fun Altean kids had with them. Can you say jackpot?”

“They're all marked in Altean,” Hunk brought up. “But they're also color coded, so we could play go fish, or uno or something.”

“I vote for go fish,” Lance declared. “I was the go fish master in my family. Like the king of the sea.”

“I resent that,” said Katie, who had been quite good at go fish herself. “You're on. Go fish it is.”

“Um, guys, we didn't take a proper vote?”

Katie and Lance quickly shot twin glares towards Hunk. The competition was already on, and they were dead serious about finishing it.

“Or… we could just play go fish?”

“Now you're speaking my language, buddy.” Lance shifted to grab the cards and hunched over them to shuffle. The cards were a blur between his mastered hands, and they flew as he dealt. “Alright, that should do it.”

The five paladins’ game lasted longer than most. Hunk struggled to contain his growing handful of cards, Shiro was surprisingly good at go fish (Hunk swore his Galra arm gave him special powers), and Keith had an impressive poker face, considering his own collection of unmatched cards. But the real tension was between Katie and Lance.

“Pidge.” He raised an eyebrow above his cards. “Do you have any sparkly purples?”

“Go fish, loser. Do you have any cloudy reds?”

“Cast a line for the deck, sucker.”

In the end, Lance won. “I am now the greatest go fisher in the _universe!_ ”

Katie and the rest of the team just looked on as he shot up and danced in victory.

“Winning sure is a lot of work,” he sighed, shedding his pajama shirt. All that was underneath was a plain white tank top.

Katie had to look away. She'd seen men without their shirts on, of course; her brother had a bad habit of forgetting to set out clothes to wear after a shower. But if she could delay the moment she saw her name on his arm, even for a moment, she could save herself some grief.

But it was never that simple. Lance sat back down next to her, and slung his arm around her shoulders. His hand hung by her upper arm — right where her own soul mark was imprinted. Against Katie’s better judgement, her eyes shifted down and landed on his bicep. The name was right by her face.

_Katie Holt_

Suddenly, the room was way too hot. Goosebumps trailed down her body, and a pit of nausea formed in her gut.

She knew 100% that they were soulmates, and she said nothing. She didn't say anything when they met. She didn't say anything when she revealed that she was a girl. And she didn't say anything in that moment, with her own name blaring back at her.

She'd been keeping a secret that important from potentially the most important person in her life. Katie couldn't bear the hurt that would surely fill him when he found out.

She had to leave. The room was too small, filled with people, and stuffy air, and her thoughts.

With a stumbling excuse and quickened breath, she ducked out from under Lance’s arm and fled.

 

* * *

 

 

Katie had many faults. That, she could admit to. Unfortunately, she could never say that eavesdropping wasn't one of them. After all, this was the girl who listened in on Galra communications from galaxies away with nothing but a homemade radio and a will to find her family. So, when she overheard two of her crew mates talking in hushed voices, she instinctively stopped to listen.

“-well did you know the Holts?”

The voice was low, uncertain, but undeniably Lance’s. Katie’s heart sped up. She had overheard many conversations in her life, but this. This was something she shouldn't be hearing.

She stayed just outside the door.

“Why do you ask?” This time it was Shiro who spoke.

“I-” A pause. The shuffle of clothes; he was taking off his jacket or shirt, or something. “I think you should see this.”

Katie heard a slow exhale where she expected a gasp. Undoubtedly Shiro just saw where her name was printed on Lance’s arm and recognized what was going on immediately. After all, he was the only one on the ship to know her real name.

“I thought… you might know something. Being the pilot for the Holts and all. I know it's not an uncommon last name, and I'm shooting in the dark here, but-” A sigh traveled to her ears. “If she's really related to them, then she now has three people stuck in space. We may never meet and-”

Katie could hear the tears in his voice. This wasn't _right._ She was right there. They were next to each other every day, having each other's backs, and exchanging banter through the comms.

“I doubt that,” Shiro said, and she could vividly picture the look on his face — all gentle eyes, assuring smile, and a strong hand reaching out. If Katie had been in the room, she would have seen the gears in Lance’s head, working with what he knew.

“You know her, don't you?”

“Yeah.”

“... _I_ know her. Don't I.”

“I think you know the answer.”

Katie had to muffle herself behind her hand. Somehow, tears had collected at the back of her throat, and she choked them back as silently as she could.

“I need to go find Pidge.” Lance’s voice was determined, and closer than earlier.

Before she had time to make herself scarce, she found herself face to face with Lance. Katie let out a strangled gasp, eyes wide. She shouldn't have stayed in the first place, but there she was, looking her panic in the eye.

“Pidge! I-” Lance seemed just as surprised at running into her as she was at being found. Though he had been so set on talking to her just moments ago, he stopped in his tracks. His words came out slowly. “I need to talk to you.”

“I know.”

“I'll be in my room,” Shiro said, slipping past them.

They were left alone. Several beats of silence passed. And then several more.

“Um-”

“So I-”

Their voices tangled together.

Lance cleared his throat. “So… my name’s on your arm?”

“Yeah. And mine is on yours.” There was no question in her tone.

“How, um… how long did you know?”

“I've stopped counting the months since we've been out here,” Katie admitted. “But since my second day at the Garrison. After we met.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Why did you not… say anything?”

“I had a face to uphold. I couldn't just… drop everything. I wasn't about to reveal that I was the same Katie Holt who'd been banned from entering the Garrison ever again just because some name on my arm told me that you'd be perfect for me.” Katie was definitely crying by then, but so was Lance.

He swallowed thickly.

“Pidge Gunderson is probably declared dead by the Garrison, but I've always been Pidge to everyone here, so I didn't think to change that. And… I was scared.” Her voice squeaked on the last word, becoming whispery at the confession.

“That's okay,” Lance told her, a sad smile playing at his lips. “I'm scared of a lot of things. Like failing the team. Or never seeing my family again. I don't think I ever feared meeting you, though. For a while, I was scared I never would.”

“Oh.” It was all she could say.

“So, uh-” He paused to clear his throat. “It's okay that you're scared. Right now, I think, I'm just happy that you're here. And hey. Now I know I was right.”

“Right about what?”

He grinned. “My soulmate is brilliant.”


	3. Love's in a Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizations are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here!  
> I told y'all it wouldn't be a long wait for the finale.

Days passed. Then weeks. The crew went on as normal, training, and helping Galra-imprisoned planets, and training some more. And Katie wondered when the madness would end. 

Shiro was obviously avoiding the elephant in the room. Any time he was in a room where she and Lance were together, he gave them cautious looks, as if waiting for them to shout or to kiss — whichever came first. He obviously looked like he wanted to talk to her when it was just the two of them, and she was certain that he had the same look around Lance. 

The boy in question, however, acted as normal. The castle was still a ship, his lion was still blue, and the Galra were still at rule. He must've not taken the fact that he and Katie were  _ literally soulmates _ to be a hindrance to the mission at hand. 

Katie figured she'd just follow his lead. She hacked into security systems when needed, guided her teammates through Galra ships when called for, and spewed out quick remarks through the comms of the lions. Things could be normal. They were friends, after all. 

But when it was just the two of them, he would get this  _ look _ on his face. His eyebrows should shift together, his mouth would stutter open and shut, and his eyes would watch her every move, waiting. Wondering, perhaps, what he should say. In those moments, Katie pondered what he might be thinking.

 

* * *

 

Katie realized that she had been in love with Lance for a long time. It wasn't some sudden revelation that happened with butterflies when he smiled at her, or a static shock when they touched. Somehow, it had just become a fact of her life. The earth was round. Galra were purple. She was in love with Lance McClain.

As she lied in bed, thinking, his face flashed through her mind. She thought of his smile.  _ Yep, I love that.  _ She thought of his kindness.  _ That too.  _ She thought of his jokes, exaggerated movements, and the way he could raise one eyebrow like she never could. A shudder ran through her body as her heart rate sped up.  _ Crap, I love that too.  _

It had become a constant in her life, the way his name had been a constant on her arm. Katie thought she could get used to this feeling — this unwavering contentment that came with being by his side, them knowing they were soulmates, and being friends through what was the most adventurous part of her life. Still, she wasn't satisfied.

 

* * *

 

Breakfast was usually uneventful for the paladins. The most chaos they got would come from Coran’s antics, or from any side mission that they had to fulfill in the early hours. 

Despite the silence in the dining hall, Katie’s heart was racing. She knew that her ways weren't the best; she was brash, and liked to avoid unnecessary personal conversations. But she had to do something. It already took her months to come clean to Lance, and even then, he had done all of the investigating himself. The rest of the team didn't deserve that. 

“Um,” she said, getting everyone's attention. All eyes were on her, and she wanted to back out and say something lame, like good morning, or what nice weather. But she couldn't. “Um… Lance and I are soulmates. I could show you, but I really don't want to take my shirt off. And we're not together, we just… have each other's names. On our right arms. And, uh- well, I thought you guys should know. I guess.” 

Katie didn't bother trying to hear everyone's questions, which were all coming at her at once. She only looked at Lance. He stared back at her, and his eyes made her want to duck away. They were wide in disbelief, as were everyone else's, but they stared in wonder. She was certain that he was wondering what this confession meant for the two of them. 

Not for the first time, Katie fled.

 

* * *

 

Lance found her in her room not five minutes later. In those five minutes, she tried and tried to steady her breathing, but thinking about Lance, his eyes, and how he would certainly try to diffuse the situation with everyone else, only made her breathe harder. He was so…  _ good.  _

He knocked. “Can I come in?” 

Katie walked as slowly as she could, but the space between her bed and the door was short. Too soon, she was faced with Lance. His chest was moving quickly, and his hair was sticking up more than usual; he had run to her. 

“Hi.” 

“Hi,” she said. After a few moments, she stepped aside. “I guess you should come in.” 

“Thanks.” 

She stood in the center of the room; sitting would say that she was calm, but she wasn't. There was no way she would be the first to speak, as she couldn't even think of what to say. 

“Why did you say that?” he asked several moments later. “You'd barely spoken to me about it, but back there you just… said it outright.” 

“They deserved to know.” 

“And I didn't?” The words weren't sharp.

She looked away. “You did. You do. It's just that I realized something last night, and I figured that everyone needed to know too.” 

“What did you realize?” His voice was a whisper, and Katie wondered if he already knew what she was about to say. 

If possible, her heart would have sped up even more. She waited. Her voice was hardly working, but she whispered it out anyway. “That I love you. And I think I have for a long time, but I didn't want to be, because I only have time to love my family in this forsaken wasteland we call space. And I didn't think-”

“Pidge,” he stopped her. “Can I kiss you?” 

A breath got caught in her throat, and her eyes were forced up to his. “Katie.” 

“Huh?”

“You called me Pidge. I mean, that is my name, technically. I'm still Pidge to everyone on this ship. But I've been Katie to you forever. I- I want you to call me Katie.” 

“Katie,” he breathed. 

His hands were on her shoulders then, and one slowly went up her neck to cup her cheek. Experimentally, he leaned down to her height. She didn't resist his touch, instead tilting her head up to him, eyes shut. Though they were expecting the kiss, both inhaled the moment their lips touched. 

It was a short kiss, but they stayed connected at their foreheads. Katie could feel his breath against her face, and it was hot, weird, but not entirely unpleasant. Her hands, which had been glued to her sides, gripped his shoulders. She looked up at him through lidded eyes and slowly pulled him down again. 

“Katie,” he whispered, and she could feel the word against her lips. “Katie.” Another kiss. “Katie.” A lick on her lips. He whispered it like it was his lifeline, and she was the one pulling him in. 

Her name had never been a bad one, but she never loved it more than when he chanted it against her lips. 


End file.
